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Discussion: Follow up to "I did it"
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KathyRME |
Follow up to "I did it"
Oct 21 2009, 1:49 PM EDT
I am going to be traveling to see my mother next month. Alot of emotional pre-work is taking place to allow me to even go on this trip since I don't have the best of attitudes towards my mother (feel betrayed by her not helping me by stopping the abuse) and she is now living with my oldest brother who was one of the people who abused me for years. So, I am working to sort through some greiving, sadness, and anger. And I am working on some strategies to help me through the trip. Now, with that said, I want to say that one of the things I am doing for myself on this trip (other than seeing my mother for the once a year visit) is to visit with my aunt and uncle (who also live near my mother) whom I talked to this past May. After the encouragement of my therapist, I contacted my aunt and uncle and asked if they would be willing to spend a little private time with me to touch base again concerning our discussion (my disclosure) this past spring. hey said yes! They would love it. Just having them say that melts my heart. Someone in my family knows and they love me and want to be there for me. Of course I wish it were my mother, but that is pretty much impossible (due in part to her own illness and high probibility of denial). I will take what I can get. I have always had a lot of respect for this aunt and uncle. So, telling them was a huge step for me. To have the reception that I did, wow...wow...wow it blows my mind. The validation from family members is priceless. They see the horror and reflect it back to me that "yes, I did survive a terrible thing and nobody has a right to minimize it". When you go your whole life wearing such a burden, and you hold misperceived responsibility because that is all you can think because you truly do not have any idea what has happened, well that helps to let reality in. Helps to start healing. Do you find this valuable?
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