godofdanger
Friday, 5:50 PM EDT
Hi Kathy , I did not realise there wasa discussion board until you so kindly pointed it out to me . As regards to taking the focus off me comment ; I was referring to not dwelling on my own problems and feeling sorry for myself . I often joke with female friends that I want to be an Alpha male type , basically growing up I did stay in the background and was shy beyond compare . I have to ask something personal now ..... I don't want to offend you but have you ever seen a counsellor or therapist to be treated or been told that you have PTSD . The reason I'm asking is because I DON'T want to , I want to heal myself and also find out how others are healing . I couldn't bear talking to someone who hasn't experienced this pain themselves . Take care and tell me the titles of these other films . Bye .

KathyRME
Sunday, 4:20 PM EDT
I hear what you are saying. I think there is health in your attitude not to dwell on your [pain] or feeling sorry for yourself. I respect you a great deal for knowing the path you must take. It is not an easy thing to work through the pain on your own, I tried that for many years. It seems to be working well for you and I think that is wonderful. There are many survivors who are successful in their independant healing. Unfortunately, it worked only so long for me, then I realized that the guidance of a trained helper was what I needed. So,yes, I have (and still am) under the guidance of a therapist (which, for me, has simply been an opportunity to talk with someone with a strong understanding of my experiences and to have someone bounce back my ideas so I can gain new insights-this helps me to make informed decisions as to what is next for me on my path. It is my therapy; I am in total control of my sessions. My therapist does not have a litany of questions or statements telling me how I 'should' feel or what I 'should' do. He is a supporter of me while I regain my voice and courage.). And yes, I have been told that some of the effects I describe fall under the category of PTSD. But, I don't consider that a label to swing around like a flag of "I have a right to be down-here is my diagnosis". For me, it is a validation of sorts that explain why some of the effects of my trauma display themselves the way they do and why I struggle to heal certain effects. For example, I have struggled with hellish nightmares my whole life. After working in therapy and feeling I had gained so amazing ground in regaining my individual power, I expected these nightmares to go away. That hasn't been my experience yet. They have lessoned some, and that is a relief-but, they are still signs of deep-rooted pain I still need to work through.
Anyway, I am glad you are seeking to talk with others who understand and respect your journey. Peace

godofdanger
Tuesday, 3:22 PM EDT
Hi Kathy , how've you been keeping ? I posted a video that I saw last year , I even downloaded it onto my i-pod . I wanted to ask you if the campaign you have in the States ,with the blue ribbon and the child abuse awareness month in April are something new. Anything that gets this subject into the spotlight is a good thing ! I am pleased that you have some " newbies " on your website , although I am wary about approaching other survivors . The reason being ( because I can see you getting ready to get on your soapbox ) is that sometimes talking about the abuse just leaves me emotionally drained and as for being so brutally honest with others is ... refreshing but nonetheless scary !You've done a good thing with this group and I hope that others join . Take care K .

KathyRME
Tuesday, 5:49 PM EDT
Hello Surinder. The blue ribbon (actually it is teal) and sexual assault awareness month has been going on for awhile in the states. I agree with you that "anything that gets this subject into the spotlight is a good thing"- educating others about this crime helps to make it 'OK' to finally bring the subject out into the open. With it out into the open, it is now seen and fought against. It is my dream to one day see it eradicated. April was a very busy month for me at my last job. I was a client services director at a rape crisis agency and part of my job was to go around to police departments, organizations, schools... to educate the public about sexual violence. A very rewarding job in many ways (unfortunately, the agency is no longer in existance).

Yes, it is wonderful to see all the newbies here. I want to ensure everyone that this is a safe place to be (I do try to make it here everyday and moderate the site). At the same time, I respect everyone's space to express at their own pace. (Your pretty witty to point out that I may climb upon my soapbox again :o) I so understand what you mean about being left emotionally drained when you talk about abuse; I can relate to that immensly. The thing I try to keep reminding myself is that it is important for me to have 'my voice'. Talking about my abuse, about the horrors I experienced at the hands of another (others), purges my system and allows me to take back my lost power from keeping my 'secrets' for so long. I guess I end up feeling drained, but at the same time I sense a negative energy leaving my body and leaving me stronger each time I do share my story. But, that is my journey and all of our journeys are unique.
I appreciate it whenever anyone compliments my work here. It is all so healing for me to feel a purpose; that purpose being self-expression and sharing information at the same time.

Good to see you, see you again soon!