The healing journey from sexual abuse and emotional incest in not a solitary process; it will require that you speak out and allow others to give you the help and support you need and deserve. This support will come from many different sources and in many different forms.

As a survivor, you may feel that reaching out is the last thing you want to do. You have been struggling for so long to 'do it on your own'. Reaching out for help may seem so foreign to you. Your very survival may have included shutting the whole world out; denying your needs to keep the horrible secret from those around you. The difficulty with this is that there will be a point to come when you must reach out to others for support because you just can't do it on your own anymore; you need help to get past the walls you may feel you have come up against. And that is fine; that is your right to seek support; that is what you deserve.

There are many different ways in which you can reach out for support. You may start by gathering information. Maybe that is what lead you to this website. You may try to identify resources that can guide you to a starting point (again, hopefully you discover some helpful resources within this site). You may begin to build your own private circle of support by starting to talk a little with the people you feel you can trust the most and take into your confidence. You may seek support from one or several community organizations. Crisis units, mental health services, church groups, hospitals, self-help groups (like AA or ACA or Survivors of Incest...) and yoga centers are all great places to seek support for yourself while you take on the weight of the emotional work, or you may begin by choosing a therapist to help guide you along your healing path.

The important thing to keep in mind as you reach out for support, is to take your time. It is Your time; this is Your journey. If you take the steps to reach out for help and support slowly, you may be able to better fight against any feelings that you don't deserve help, that you can and have done this all on your own. Those thoughts come from the fear, the anger, the shame, the sadness and so on that have been the after effects of your trauma. Your beginning to seek and reach out for help is an empowering way to show those feelings that you are not going to take it anymore, that you are going to stand up and fight for what was stolen from you; that you are going to charge forward to healing and happiness.


Choosing a Therapist

In most cases survivors need to have a guide who has some professional training and experience with the therapeutic process. Seeking a therapist who has worked with other survivors of sexual abuse can help you to feel more confident in your work, but it is not necessary if you are comfortable with a particular person. That is the most important thing when choosing a therapist, comfort. You have to feel safe; you need to feel a 'click' with that certain guide for you are going to be talking about your most intimate thoughts. Don't just choose someone because they have 'all' the experience or seem the cream of the crop but you feel all jittery inside and struggle to open up and be honest. That is not going to do you any good. I am not saying you have to choose someone you feel you can be a friend, for a therapist is not a friend. But, choose someone who you feel you can fully trust as a guide. It is your healing path, you deserve the support of a skilled guide you can feel safe with.