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A Voice From Silence Home
Welcome! My name is Kathryn and I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
This site is my way of creating a space to express my inner voice.
I am a survivor of long term, multiple perpetrator, childhood sexual abuse and on a journey of healing from my experiences. I would like to invite all to share this space with me; one does not have to be a survivor of CSA to feel the need for inner expression.
Please feel free to explore all of the different pages and add comments or post threads containing your own thoughts and feelings. (I also love pictures!)
The only thing that I ask, is that you respect that this is a place of healing. Yes, healing from such traumatic experiences as sexual abuse, domestic violence, losing a loved one, or any other such experiences leaves one with some very strong emotions that can be expressed very graphically. I understand and respect that, but please do not post anything that is not an expression of a healing journey (namely advertisements for pornographic sites, pornographic jokes, pornographic pictures, and please do not solicit any of my members).
Welcome and let your spirit fly
April is:
Please join the nation to raise public awareness about sexual violence and to fight against sexual and domestic abuse by educating our neighbors and communities on how to prevent sexual assault."By working together and pooling our resources during the month of April, we can highlight sexual violence as a major public health issue and reinforce the need for prevention efforts." -nsvrc
Some Information About Child Sexual Abuse
First, I want to provide you with a link to the USDOJ (United States Department of Justice) site which provides you with a list of all the sexual assault coalitions in the United States. These coalitions can put you in contact with the crisis center closest to you. These centers are invaluable resources for free services, support, and information to help you or a loved one on the journey to healing the wounds of sexual abuse. Just click on this link, and it will take you right to the list. United States Department of Justice Sexual Coalitions
Child sexual abuse is a betrayal of trust that takes a sexual form of any kind. It may be physical, verbal, emotional, or all three. Whether blatant or subtle, one time or ongoing, it is a devastating abuse by someone who is older or who has more power than the victim. (Generally speaking, the term 'child' refers to girls and boys from infancy to the age of 18)
Child sexual abuse has been defined as:
"...the misuse of power by someone who is in authority over a child, for the purposes of exploiting a child for sexual gratification. It includes incest, sexual molestation, sexual assault, and the exploitation of the child for pornography or prostitution." (Source: Rix G. Rogers, Reaching for Solutions)
"Sexual abuse ranges from being forced or encouraged to watch someone else remove clothing or perform sexual acts, to being fondled and touched in private places, to being forced or encouraged to actively take part in sexual activities." (Source: Council on Children and Youth, Put the Child First"
Millions of people have been sexually abused as children. As the subject of incest is more openly discussed, many women (along with men) are beginning to wonder if they, too, are survivors of childhood abuse. I am in hopes, with the production of this site, to instill within all that recovery from sexual abuse and emotional incest is possible.
Stats and Facts: (Although many resources use the term "victim" when referring to someone who has experienced sexual abuse, I prefer to use the term "survivor" for those of us who have made it through the horrific experience and are now seeking ways to help ourselves heal. I am in no way trying to trivialize the traumatic experience with my word choice. I am trying to empower.)
- Over 62 million people in the United States alone are victims or survivors of child sexual abuse.
- 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys will have been sexually abused by the age of 18.
- Most child sexual abuse is committed by a member of the survivor's immediate or extended family, or by someone who is perceived by the survivor to be in a family-like role.
- All forms of child sexual abuse are harmful to the survivors. Whether the effects are blatantly visible to others or deeply hidden within the survivor, sexual abuse destroys self-esteem and removes any sense of personal power and control over ones' life.
- Survivors speak of a direct correlation between the abuse they have suffered and many commonly addressed 'social issues,' including suicide or attempted suicide, eating disorders, teen pregnancy, prostitution, and/or other self-destructive behaviors.
- 75%-90% of the drug and alcohol addicts seen in many in-patient treatment centers are survivors of child sexual abuse.
- 75% of all runaways are running away from child sexual abuse.
- Because of the intense trauma of child sexual abuse, it is not uncommon for survivors to repress the memory of the abuse for many years.
- Child sexual abuse is seldom a one-time occurrence. Abusive acts against each victim are repeated on average for one to four years, often much longer than four years.
- Offenders come from all types of backgrounds, come in all shapes and sizes, and without intervention, do not stop abusing once they have begun. The majority of offenders are heterosexual men, but sexual abuse is also committed by women.
Categories of Sexual Abuse:
There are two categories of sexual abuse, contact and non-contact, which both have devastating effects on the survivor. Here are some examples:
Non-Contact
- Flashing or exposing sexual body parts to a child
- Watching intrusively as a child dresses or showers
- Speaking or communicating sexually/seductively with a child
- Showing pornographic films, magazines, or photographs to a child
- Having to participate in the creation of pornographic materials
- Forcing a child to watch a sexual act performed by others
- Objectifying or ridiculing a child's sexual body parts
- Kissing or holding a child in a sexual manner
- Touching a child's sexual body parts or forcing a child to touch another person's sexual body parts
- Penetrating a child anally or vaginally, with objects or fingers
- Having vaginal, anal, or oral intercourse with a child
David Finklehor, PH.D. and Angela Brown, PH.D., of the University of New Hampshire, have put together an explanation, which describes the effects of sexual abuse of children, to help us understand how sexual abuse can effect the development of a child. They describe four areas in which children can be affected. They call these areas: Betrayal, Stigmatization, Powerlessness, and Traumatic Sexualization.
A child may be affected in one area or any combination of all four areas to a lesser or greater degree. No two survivors reacts the same, every person's situation, even in the same family home, is unique. Breaking down reactions into these four categories does give us a picture of how someone may behave as a way to cope with the effects of the abuse. Behaviors can carry over into adulthood, especially if untreated.
Betrayal
Affects: Trust and vulnerability has been manipulated
Feelings of safety violated
Child's well-being disregarded
Psychological Impact: Grief, depression, extreme dependency
Inability to know who to trust,
Mistrust of others, especially of gender of offender
Anger or hostility
Possible Behaviors: Clinging
Increased vulnerability to further abuse
Discomfort in close/loving relationships
Aggressive behavior or delinquency
Or no outward signs
Stigmatization
Affects: Offender probably blames the child
Offender and possibly others pressure child for secrecy
Child infers attitudes of shame because of secrecy
Others may blame child for events
Psychological Impact: Guilt, shame
Confused sense of self, lowered self-esteem
Sense of differentness from others
Possible Behaviors: Withdrawing, wanting to be alone
Drug and/or alcohol abuse
Criminal involvement
Suicide or attempts of
Or no outward signs
Powerlessness
Affects: Body invaded against the child's wishes
Offender uses force or trickery to involve child
Child feels unable to protect self
Repeated experience of fear
Psychological Impact: Anxiety, fear
Lowered sense of competency
May look at themselves as a victim
Need to control self and/or others
Possible Behaviors: Nightmares, fears
Chronic headaches or stomachaches
Eating and/or sleeping disorders
Depression
Running away, school problems, employment difficulties
Or no outward signs
Traumatic Sexualization
Affects: Child "rewarded" for sexual behavior not appropriate to development
level
Child relates sexual activity with negative emotions and memories
Wrong information about sexual activity
Psychological Impact: Increased attention of sexual issues
Confusion about what is sexually normal
Possible confusion of sexual identity
Confusion of sex with love and care-getting
Possible Behaviors: Sexual preoccupation
Very sexually active-prostitution
Flashbacks, difficulty in arousal
Avoidance of sex
Or not outward signs
If you, or anyone you know and care for, experiences any of these symptoms, please seek help and support for yourself or encourage your loved ones towards support. A survivor did not ask for, nor deserve the abuse; the abuse was not our fault. We deserve all the support and help we can get to work through the effects of our traumatic experiences.
I hope that my site can be a starting point to gain support and resources as you are either starting out on your healing journey, or even for those who have been healing for awhile and are seeking more tools for their toolbox of healing. I wish you peace and health as you heal the wounds.
KathyRME |
Latest page update: made by KathyRME
, Apr 7 2009, 5:25 PM EDT
(about this update
About This Update
Edited by KathyRME
65 words added view changes - complete history) |
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Keyword tags:
childhood sexual abuse
expression
forums
incest
sexual abuse
sexual abuse resources
sexual abuse survivor
survivor
More Info: links to this page
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| KathyRME | Explore Everywhere | 4 | Apr 14 2009, 3:45 PM EDT by KathyRME | ||
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Thread started: Aug 20 2008, 5:49 PM EDT
Watch
There are links on the left side (Home, Poetry, Links of Interest (Books of Interest), and when you get into them, sometimes it is helpful to click on "view all". Especially in my poetry section because I posted one piece of writing that took four different threads because of space limit.
Hope you gain something from my site. |
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